After Birth: Start Things Off On The Right Foot
Dont be alarmed at the babys appearance. When your baby comes out, he may be wrinkly, covered in mayonnaise-like stuff, and have a cone-head. Dont worryhell change dramatically in the next days and weeks, and start looking less like a weird, eyebrow-less Benjamin Button-like creature and more like a human baby.
Help your wife out with breastfeeding.;If your wife is planning on breastfeeding, its best for her to give the baby his first feeding within the hour after birth. So dont have all your friends and family rush in right after the baby is born; give your wife some time for a calm first feeding. We called our families a little while after the baby was born, let them know the news, and asked them not to come for an hour.
Despite its image as the most natural thing in the world, breastfeeding doesnt come completely naturally . And sometimes it can be difficultand stressfulto get it going. Call me unmanly, but before Gus was born I read a couple of books about breastfeeding, and I was very hands-on in trying to get the positioning and latching right. Kate was much appreciative.
Bathe the baby. You will likely be invited to go to the nursery to give your baby his first bath.
Have the;circumcision;decision already made. Were not going to discuss the different sides of this issueweve already had that debate. But by the time the baby is born, you should have done your research and made a decision. Dont still be hemming and hawing about it at the;hospital.
How To Make Discussing Your Thoughts On Parenthood Together A Success
1. Listen intently with respect
Give your partner space and timeto express how theyre truly feeling. Aim to discover what the real cause is;of your partner or husbands apparent displeasure it may not be what he;says;it is. There may be an underlying, undisclosed problem particularly if there appears to be absolutely no logical sense to his argument.
Also, he may not see it as cool to discuss his fears, particularly now that youre more in need.
Stop yourself from filling in silences, blaming and judging, however understandable all that might be. Remember, your partner may be completely freaked out about the whole baby thing! ;
2. Hold your partner to account
State clearly that they;are;becoming a parent, whether or not theyre prepared for it or even like the idea.
Just in case youre tempted to get on your high horse make it an adult-to-adult conversation, not a parent-to-child discussion. The latter would cause them to immediately shut their ears end of conversation!
3. Share your worries, needs and wants
Ask them to listen without interrupting to your worries, how you are feeling and what you really need and ideally want: It would be really helpful now if youd listen to me so that we can then talk about how we can help each other.
May Reduce Infectious Diseases In Pregnancy
Interestingly, a 2015 Norwegian study;found that higher relationship satisfaction predicted a lower risk for infectious diseases. Those with the lowest relationship satisfaction had about twice as many infectious diseases as the highest satisfied couples. More studies need to be done before we understand this association.
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Ways To Take Care Of Your Pregnant Wife
Photo by Megan Lynette
For most couples, having children is a dream come true. However, there is one thing that many do not understandthat pregnancy is a shared responsibility between the husband and wife. Thus, the husband should proudly say were pregnant instead of my wife is pregnant.
How can a husband take part in the pregnancy? He should make sure to actively take good care of his wife and the baby inside her.
If you are an expecting dad, especially if this is your first time to be one, then these are some of the healthy ways to take care of your pregnant wife.
How To Support Your Partner During Her Pregnancy
Of course, youre already supportive. But pregnancy especially for first-time mamas and their partners can bring a host of surprises.
Theres her ever-changing body, for one, as well as those roller-coaster emotions, cravings and aversions. Theres;pregnancy brain fog and endless trips to the bathroom. In short, its hard to know what to expect when your partner is pregnant. But heres how to help her get through the next nine months.
Shoulder more than your share. Your pregnant partner expends a lot of energy now that shes building a baby. Which makes her a lot more tired than youve ever known her to be. So even with all you do, nows the time to go the extra mile in helping out around the house. Start by choosing a task she always does and start doing it yourself without asking. Once you get into the habit, pick another and do that, too;;and so on until you are the one whos normally throwing in the loads of laundry, whipping up dinner and doing the dishes.
Get involved in the medical stuff, but ask how involved she wants you to be. Does she want you to be at every prenatal visit? If so, do your best to go, but be honest about any schedule limitations you might have. If you cant get away for each appointment, show interest and concern by asking questions . Do your best to be at the milestone appointments .
Make it easier for her to fall asleep. Get her a;body pillow so she can get comfy. Turn on a fan when she gets too hot. Cuddle before nodding off.
Be hands on. ;
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Let Her Drink Milk Twice A Day
Aside from water, it is also important that your wife can drink milk dailybetter if both in the morning and at night. She and the growing fetus inside her womb need a lot of calcium.
A pregnant woman has to strengthen her bones as her body carries a growing weight inside. Her teeth become more vulnerable to damages during this time too. Of course, the baby needs a good supply of calcium to support his/her bones development.
Make sure to pick pasteurized milk and other dairy products. Raw or unpasteurized milk usually contains bacteria that can be dangerous for her and her baby.
Listen To When She Complains
Repeat after me, a pregnant woman has the right to complain.
Say that about five times and make it your mantra. It is the truth, if anyone can complain, its a pregnant woman. I went to a pregnancy class, and they made all us dads wear a heavy pregnancy body suit. I could not tie my shoes or get up, and I was tired after a few minutes of wearing the suit.
After that class, I would repeat that mantra anytime my wife complained, which was hourly. But she had every right, and I love her.
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Let Her Get Rest And Sleep
Though it doesn’t look like it, her body is doing a lot of work even when your wife is at rest. So she’ll need lots of sleep and rest. Increase your quota of housework. Give her breaks. However, it doesn’t mean that your wife shouldn’t do any work around the house at all. Being active during pregnancy is one of the keys to an easy delivery. But she can get tired very quickly in the first trimester, in which case, it’ll be nice for her if you step in.
Don’t forget about those affectionate hugs and kisses
Make Sure She Eats Nutritious Fruits And Veggies Each Day
If you want both your wifey and your baby to be healthy, then these should take over their daily meals. Without a doubt, fruits and vegetables are rich in vitamins and minerals that are necessary for the proper development of the baby. However, make sure to pick fruits and veggies which are fresh, organic and free from pesticides and harmful bacteria. Heres a list of the best fruits to eat during pregnancy from Medical News Today.
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Go To The Doctors Appointments With Her
Remember the baby belongs to both you and your partner, so be involved and go to the doctors appointments. If you need, take a notebook and pen jot down notes, so you remember everything the doctor says.
Do not just go to the appointments, become proactive in your wife and babys development. Do not rely on your wife to remember everything, take action.
Go Baby Shopping With Her
Can you believe some women do all the shopping and prepping for their baby? I know this because I did everything with my wife, we bought every piece of furniture and clothing together. Most of the time I was the only man around.
I always saw pregnant women with other women, like their moms and sisters. Which is fine, but I prefer to be involved, and I know my wife appreciates it. I am sure your wife will too.
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How To Help Your Partner During Pregnancy
Pregnancy can be a wonderful time. It can also bring challenges. There is a lot to learn. You should support your partner during her pregnancy and after the baby is born.
You can provide comfort when they’re stressed or emotional. Or you can take on more of the household chores. Be aware that pregnancy can be exhausting for your partner. Ask her how you can help her.
Being Pregnant Is Really Hard
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but it is such a hard thing to explain to someone who has never done it.
You are constantly tired, you have nausea all the time , you feel fat, your hormones are crazy, you are constantly hungry. I could go on, but Im sure you guys get the idea.
How to be a supportive husband during pregnancy: Be sympathetic.
It sounds so simple, but what your wife needs it so know that you are there and that you care.
She needs to know that you appreciate the sacrifices that she is making to have a baby.
Take a few minutes each day to thank her for the little things she does. Do something special for her occasionally. Im not saying she needs flowers every day, but a small gesture of kindness goes a lot further than you think when your wife is pregnant.
If you are struggling for ideas here are a few things I loved when I was pregnant:
- Burts Bees Belly Butter I used this stuff faithfully and didnt have stretch marks. Plus the smell is to die for.
- Preggie Pop Drops Natural morning sickness drops. They are like cough drops but made a huge difference with morning sickness . It is hard for a husband to understand how truly miserable morning sickness it.
- All Natural Shampoo I tried really hard to avoid extra chemicals while I was pregnant and ended up loving this organic shampoo.
If your wife is struggling with morning sickness check out: How does Morning Sickness Feel and What Can You Do About It?
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During Birth: Be Her Support
Once you get to the hospital, your role becomes that of coach and support for your wife as she goes through what can be a nerve-racking process. Here are your roles.
Interference-runner. Befitting her personality, Kate took a very eh, whatever approach to how the birth was going to happen, but I know some moms draw up birth plans that specify their preferences pertaining to the medications they will receive, how the birth will happen, and what will happen to the baby after hes born. If your wife has one of these birth plans, make sure the nurses and doctors are aware of it, and run;interference;between your wife and the people in scrubs. Dont get in their way, but if theyre about to do something, you can ask whats happening, and if its really medically necessary. If its not, push back and ask that they follow the birth plan. Your wife shouldnt have to be the one who needs to stay on top of everything.
Hand-holder. If your wife gets an epidural, then birth will little resemble the sweating, panting, screaming cliché youve seen countless times in movies. Theres really not much for you to do. If all goes smoothly, over the course of hours she will dilate, the doctor will decide its time for her to push, and out will come the baby. During this time, your job is to be the rock. The calm, confident, hand-holder, whos there with a reassuring look and word.
Learn Your Partners Love Language
The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman. In it, he proposes a theory that people receive love in five different main ways:
- Words of Affirmation Praise, words of appreciation, kind words or encouragement. Includes spoken words, notes, texts, etc.
- Quality Time Getting someones full attention without any distractions
- Physical Touch Physical affection like hugs, kisses, cuddling, sex, holding hands, massages, etc.
- Acts of Service Helping someone by doing practical things
- Receiving Gifts Receiving thoughtful gifts, including random flowers or small this made me think of you finds.
To find your partners love language, you might consider what they seem to appreciate most. Another option is to take the Love Languages Couple Quiz.
Once you know your partners main love languages, you can improve your relationship by doing things that fall into that category. This is a great way to support a pregnant wife or partner in a way thats valuable to them.
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Monitor Her Food And Water Intake
Being pregnant means always being sure that the woman is eating and drinking correctly make it your responsibility to know what she needs to consume to keep herself and her baby healthy. What time does she have to take her supplements? Is she eating the right food at the right time? What is she averse to eating? What is she craving? What food is good for the baby, and what is not? Is she drinking enough water? Make sure you have answers to all these questions during your wifes pregnancy, as her health is of utmost importance.
After The Birth: Be Protective And Helpful
Now that your little one has arrived, every family member and friend you have will want to meet him or her.;You need to be the gatekeeper.;Mom likely will be tired and just want to spend time with her new baby. Dont be afraid to tell your loved ones to come back later. Or meet them in the waiting room and entertain them out there.;;
Its inevitable that youll forget things in the rush to go to the hospital. Its your job to run back and forth to get a change of clothes, the phone charger, or whatever she needs.
The early days of a babys life are exhausting for the whole family, but try to minimize that for your partner. If shes breastfeeding, you cant help with middle-of-the-night feedings, but you can still be helpful. Get up and change the babys diaper so she can rest a few more minutes. My wife and I took shifts so we both could get some sleep.
Take as much off her plate as possible.;Do the laundry, cook meals, and clean the house. If the baby is sleeping and she wants to rest, entertain your other children so she can sleep. Give her time alone. If the baby is fed and doesnt need her, let her have a few hours of peace and quiet or a chance to get out of the house.
Dont forget to take care of yourself as well. Find time to do something that will rejuvenate you even if its just going to the gym on your way home from work.
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Make Friends With The Belly
When your wife is pregnant, everything revolves around the belly. Its just out there, calling the worlds attention, getting in the way of simple tasks like tying her shoes, preventing her from wearing her favorite clothes. This might shock you, but even the most excited mother-to-be sometimes feels some resentment toward this rapidly growing watermelon attached to her midsection.
You can really help with this by learning to love the belly. Touch it as its growing a great approach is to hug her from behind and put your hands over it protectively. Even before the baby starts kicking, rub, and stroke her belly when youre alone together. Tell her how beautiful it is. You can even give it kisses, or talk to the baby through it. You might feel silly at first, but this means so much to your pregnant partner. It reassures her that youre not just there youre engaged. It might seem like a simple thing, but its important and she will love you for it.
As the partner of a pregnant woman, it really doesnt take much to be a hero. Just amplify the best skills and traits that you bring to your relationship, keep your eyes and ears open, and remember that the better you look after her, the better she can look after your new best friend.
And now that Junior is on his way, maybe instead of throwing a baby shower, you should opt for a Dadchelor Party instead.
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Make Your Wife Feel Sensible: Be Tactful
Choosing your words carefully around your pregnant wife is crucial to making her feel special. Pregnant women do have a surplus of hormones which can make them feel overly emotional or sensitive at times, which is why you need to make sure the compliments you make her are genuine. Be careful about teasing her on sensitive subjects, she might have laughed with you pre-pregnancy but it might backfire on you now.
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