Problem Is With Him Not You
Women may carry the baby, but it takes two to tango. Twenty to 30% of infertile couples discover fertility factors on the man’s side. Another 40% find infertility factors on both sides.
Another thing you need to know: male infertility rarely has symptoms that are observable without a semen analysis, which is a test that measures the health of the semen and sperm. When you do see the doctor, make sure you are both tested.
How To React When Your Girlfriend Tells You She’s Pregnant
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment .There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 339,159 times.
If your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant, it can be quite a shock. Whether or not you expected the news, you can feel stressed, confused, happy, or all of these at once. You can cope with the news by letting your girlfriend express herself, and then sharing with her how you feel. Once the two of you get the facts and seek help, you can come to a decision about what to do.
The Mistake: You Were Wasted And Couldnt Find A Condomso You Didnt Use One
The potential damage: Sure, its an understandably awkward situation if youre about to get it in and cant figure out where the hell you put the condom. But is it more awkward than becoming a daddy if youre not ready for a kid? Get off your ass and search a little harder, or walk to the store and pick up an extra pack. According to the World Health Organization, with perfect use, condoms prevent pregnancy 98% of the time. Thats pretty damn good.
Consider Using An Ovulation Predictor Kit
Doctors previously relied on basal body temperature to predict ovulation. “It only tells you once you’ve already ovulated, which is too late. Plus taking your temperature daily often adds stress,” Dr. Bayer explains. An ovulation predictor kit is now the recommended method. OPKs monitor luteinizing hormone , which surges shortly before ovulation. “Once it turns positive, you want to have sex in the next 24 to 36 hours” for the best chance of baby-making success, Dr. Bayer says.
What Can You To Do Increase Your Chances
If youd like to become pregnant, there are many things you can do to optimize your chances:
- Track your menstrual cycles and ovulation windows. For most people, the first step to becoming pregnant is having sex when youre ovulating. It makes sense to have an understanding of your menstrual cycle and ovulation windows to make sure youll fertilize an egg. This information can also be useful if youre trying to avoid becoming pregnant without using physical forms of birth control.
- Use ovulation strips. While ovulation strips cant guarantee your pregnancy, they can help to determine your peak fertility periods. If you decide to use ovulation strips, youll probably want to do this in combination with tracking your menstrual cycle, so that you dont need to use as many testing strips.
- Adjust your diet. Believe it or not, just changing your diet has been tied to increasing your chances of conceiving. While it may not be fun to consider giving up some of your favorite foods, the joy of a baby might just make it worth it.
- Maintain a healthy weight. This can be especially important if youre dealing with PCOS. A
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Overall About 80% Of Couples With No Obvious Fertility Issues Who Are Actively Trying To Conceive Will Be Pregnant Within 6 Months
While these numbers can be helpful for women who want to know where they stand, couples should remember that there’s no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to how long it will take to get pregnant. And depending on which doctor you’re talking to or which study you’re referencing, the percentages can be slightly different.
Living Life With A Pregnant Girlfriend
Whether you choose adoption or parenting, these 9 months are going to bring a lot of changes. Your relationship may be tested, but remember that it is a complex and beautiful process going on inside your girlfriends belly! This might mean passing on a blessing to another family or bringing home a little bundle of joy. Hang on to that end goal, and dont forget that your girlfriend is giving a lot of her body to make this happen. Have fun with each other take her on dates, make sure that bump on her belly hasnt changed how you feel about her . A lot of your world right now might revolve around the pregnancy and preparation, but dont forget that your girlfriend is still there and needs love and support, too. If you and your girlfriend do not plan to continue the relationship, or if tensions are high, figure out ways that you can support and help her from a distance.
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Know The Best Position To Get Pregnant
When it comes to the best position to get pregnant, it can be hard to separate real advice from old wives’ tales. Dr. Williams gives some tips to get pregnant fast.
Lie on your back after sex. “Because the vagina naturally slopes downward, resting on your back after sex allows sperm to pool there, which gives them an edge in swimming toward your egg,” says Dr. Williams. Should you keep your legs elevated, too? It can’t hurt, he says, but it probably doesn’t help any more than lying down does.
Have sex before bed. Though some sources report that sperm count is highest in the morning, the truth is that there’s no optimal time of day to have sex. However, doing so before you hit the hay is an easy way to ensure you stay on your back afterward.
Keep it vanilla. While there’s no single sex position that’s best for baby-making , stick to one where you’ll be on your back when it’s over.
Stop Taking Birth Control
It may seem obvious, but if you want to get pregnant fast, youll need to quit your method of birth control. Depending on what form youre using, fertility doesnt necessarily return right away. With barrier methods, like condoms, upping your chance of getting pregnant is as easy as leaving them in your nightstand drawer. If you have a non-hormonal IUD removed, your body will immediately be ready for pregnancy. But for women who have been using hormonal forms of birth control, it can sometimes take a few weeks for your body to regulate and ovulate.
Especially when women have been on birth control for a very long time, cycles may not occur right away. They may be absent or very irregular for a month or so, says Eric D. Levens, MD, medical director at Shady Grove Fertility Clinic. Typically with the pill, after about six to eight weeks, you should start seeing your cycle. If after 8 to 10 weeks youre still not getting a period, its wise to seek help from a doctor to figure out whats going on.
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Swap Out Your Partners Tight Underwear
Time to make the switch to boxers and trade your partners favorite skinny jeans for a less restrictive pair. Tight underwear and pants can have a negative effect on a mans sperm count and quality a study found that men who wear more forgiving options have higher sperm concentration and count than those who prefer bottoms that leave little to the imagination.
Have The Man Get Tested Too
“It makes sense to do a basic semen analysis on men when you start trying,” says Alan Copperman, M.D., director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York and co-director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at The Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. “Many guys have low sperm counts, or they take some supplement at the gym that interferes with the motility of their sperm.” Early testing can also give you a heads-up if he’s experiencing andropause, a permanent reduction in sex hormones.
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What If We Disagree
This is bound to happen for some couples and seems to be more likely if the relationship is fairly new, one of you desires to have kids one day and the other adamantly does not, and/or you have different moral beliefs about parenting, adoption, or abortion . There might also be disagreements over how the relationship will end up depending on the choice you make: if you choose to parent, does one of you believe that marriage needs to come next? or if she has an abortion, will the relationship be okay and continue on ?
The important thing is that both of you are able to express your opinions calmly and clearly to each other. It might be helpful to have an unbiased mediator sit with you while you have the discussion. Write down your thoughts and things you want to say beforehand so to ensure you are able to clearly express yourself.
Heres one example of a situation where the two parties disagreed:
The couple has only been officially together for a few months, but is really excited about and invested in the relationship then they find out that shes pregnant. The girlfriend does not agree with abortion and believes that if she had one, she would regret it and have a hard time coping emotionally. She wants kids someday but does not feel that they are ready to parent , and has considered adoption.
Learn Your Family History
Find out how easily your female relatives got pregnant and if there’s a family history of hereditary medical conditions. “If you or your partner have Jewish, French Canadian, or Hispanic ancestry, for example, or a family history of Down syndrome, you may want to seek genetic counseling before trying,” says Steven R. Bayer, M.D., reproductive endocrinologist at Boston IVF fertility clinic in Boston. “It’s much better to find out if you’re both carriers of complications like cystic fibrosis before you conceive.”
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Conditions That Affect Fertility
Certain health conditions can play a large role in fertility.
While it may require beating greater odds if you hope to become pregnant with certain medical conditions, its not impossible. You should speak to your doctorabout a plan of action to improve your chances of getting pregnant and delivering safely.
Being A Supportive Partner
Research has shown that when a pregnant person has a supportive partner, they are more likely to have a healthy pregnancy. Partner support is also good for babies. Infants who are born to people who have the support of a partner are less likely to be born preterm.
There are many ways that you can be a supportive partner. You can encourage your partner to make and keep prenatal appointments and, if possible and desired, go to these appointments with them. You also can help your partner make healthy choices throughout their pregnancy, such as avoiding alcohol or quitting smoking.
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Stay In Bed Right After Intercourse
You have probably heard this one — lie in bed with your feet in the air after having sex to increase your chances of getting pregnant. The verdict? Not true.
“It’s good advice to lay in bed for 10 to 15 minutes after intercourse, but you don’t need your feet in the air,” Goldfarb says. “Your pelvis does not move when you put your legs in the air.” Don’t go the bathroom during this time either, he says. “If you wait 10 to 15 minutes, the sperm that is going to get into the cervix will be in the cervix.”
Listen To Her Labor Anxieties
One of my wifes biggest fears about her pregnancy was the labor and giving birth part. She even told me she felt trapped because she knew the baby could only come out via two painful ways.
If your partner goes through this, just know it is normal. Listen to her fears, she knows you cant take away the pain, so there is no need to try to fix it. But you can offer to support her in every way while she is giving birth and let her know you will be there for her. Tell her during labor that she can break your hand if needed or curse you out, anything to make her chuckle a bit.
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How Does Pregnancy Start
Your cycle starts on the first day of your period and continues up to the first day of your next period.
This is what happens during the cycle and the start of a pregnancy.
- Eggs mature in your ovaries once a month.
- The lining of your womb starts to get thicker to prepare for fertilised eggs.
- Once the egg is mature it is released from one of the ovaries this is called ovulation.
- During ovulation your cervical mucus becomes thinner and clearer to help any sperm to swim to the egg.
- If you have sex, millions of sperm will swim up the cervix into the uterus and the fallopian tubes to meet a mature egg.
- If sperm is present at the point of ovulation, or during the next 24 hours, the egg may be fertilised .
- If the egg is fertilised, it starts to move towards the womb and divide into more cells.
- Once it reaches the womb the fertilised egg has to attach the lining of the womb, this is called implantation and is the start of pregnancy. Many fertilised eggs dont implant and are passed out of the body.
- If the egg has not been fertilised, the egg is re-absorbed by the body, the hormone levels drop, and the womb lining is shed the beginning of your next period.
Now that you know all about how to get pregnant, use our tool to find out if you are ready to conceive.
Get Your Blood Pumping With Regular Exercise
“The rule is 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise five to six days per week, both before and during pregnancy,” Dr. Chaudhari says. Some doctors suspect that super high-impact workouts might hinder conception, as very athletic people tend to have irregular periods. But if you’re at a healthy weight and have regular cycles, don’t feel you need to give up that intense Spin class you love.
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How Unmarried Men Respond To Their Girlfriends Unexpected Pregnancies
- Most working-class men in one town greet the news of an unplanned pregnancy with a mixture of fright and excitement.Tweet This
- ” I felt like it was my time to grow up and to be a man and to do what was right.”Tweet This
James, then 20, was shopping with his girlfriend at Walmart when he teasingly suggested that she should get a pregnancy test. They had been together for a few months, and were just about to move in together.
Ill buy it for one day, James told his girlfriend, you never know.
When his girlfriend got home, she took the test: positive.
At first I kinda laughed, because I was like, Whoa!, remembers James. And she laughed, too. She thought it was funny, you know, because she didnt think nothing bout it. She took another one and it was positivetook two. And I was like, Whoa! Shes crying. Im like, Oh, shit, you know? It was like, Oh, man. Thats not cool. She didnt want a kid.
James wasnt intending to have a child yet, either. But he didnt use condomsI dont want something thats gonna have to block that and his girlfriend didnt use birth control. They talked about getting her on birth control a few times, and they had even agreed that she should get on it. But they were hesitant, he says, because they didnt want to approach her mom about it.
We wanted to get on birth control but at the same time didnt want to tell her mom, he says. Because her mom would be like Oh, so you guys are just havin sex all the time?
How To Get Pregnant Fast
Once youve made the big decision to start a family, its hard to wait. And while your patience may be waning, you can begin planning right away. Thats becauseas it turns outtheres more to getting pregnant fast than just having sex at the right time its also about creating the perfect environment so that when sperm meets egg, a healthy embryo grows into a healthy baby.
Conceiving quickly may be the goal, but its never a guarantee. Fortunately, there are a few steps you can take to help kick start the process. So if youre wondering how to get pregnant fast, read on for all the top dos and donts. From tracking ovulation to changing your diet, were sharing a few tips to help you on the exciting journey to parenthood.
In this article:How long does it take to get pregnant?
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